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Birth Story: Remi Isla O’Donoghue

Birth Story: Remi Isla O’Donoghue

Charnel’s journey to meeting her daughter Remi began with surprise, uncertainty, and a whole lot of surrender, but what unfolded became one of the most grounding, transformative experiences of her life. In this beautiful, honest story, Charnel shares how she navigated early shock, mum guilt, choosing continuity of care, and ultimately learning to trust her body in a way she never had before. Here's Charnels birth story... Tell us about conception & early pregnancy? Remi was a huge surprise. She’s only 17 months younger than her brother Arlo, so when I found out I was pregnant, it was a massive shock. Honestly, we were devastated at first. We had just started finding our rhythm with Arlo, and suddenly the idea of having two so close together felt overwhelming. We knew we needed to process it and get our heads around this unexpected journey. I remember feeling super tired, sleeping a lot, but not really connecting the dots. About a week later I took a test, and when I showed my fiancé at the time, his face was a mix of surprise and concern. I burst into tears, thinking he was completely unhappy. That moment was really emotional for both of us, but with time we came together and worked through it. How did you choose your care provider and navigate the maternity system? This time around, we knew we wanted something more holistic than Arlo’s birth, which had been at our local public hospital. While his birth went fairly smoothly, reflecting back I realised there were things I wanted done differently. We looked into hiring a private midwife, but it was just too expensive. I applied really early for the MGP (Midwifery Group Practice) program, and at first I didn’t get in. I called and asked if they’d reconsider, and I also put “home birth” as our number one choice. Somehow the stars aligned, and we were accepted. Having continuity of care was incredible. Meeting the same midwife each week, being seen at home, and building that relationship gave me such peace of mind. Still, there were challenges - being in the public system meant there were rules. To qualify for home birth, you had to be low-risk and go into labour not later than 41 weeks. That date sat in the back of my mind the whole pregnancy. What stood out to you during this pregnancy — physically or emotionally? Physically, pregnancy with Remi was tough. From the second trimester I struggled to walk, which made chasing a toddler exhausting. I had a lot of mum guilt, worrying how Arlo would cope. In some ways, I had to make him more independent before Remi even arrived. Emotionally, I also found it harder to connect with Remi during pregnancy. She was such a surprise that I worried whether I’d be able to love her as much as I loved Arlo. That thought stayed with me, even though deep down I knew the love would come. How did you prepare for Remi’s birth? We did another Calm Birth refresher (we’d done one with Arlo’s birth too). I practised meditation, positive affirmations, and spinning babies techniques when I could. Honestly though, I didn’t feel as prepared or as deeply connected this time. Pregnancy was harder, I was exhausted, and I was carrying guilt about Arlo. But the affirmations, meditations, and the idea of home birth gave me reassurance when my head felt full of doubts. How did labour start for you this time? With Arlo, I went into labour at 39+2, so I expected the same with Remi, which turned out to be a mistake. This time I went right up to 41 weeks on the dot, the very last day I could still qualify for a home birth. By then I was exhausted and clinging to the hope that she would come before induction was even spoken about. At 40+6, I reached out to our Calm Birth instructor, Lyndal. She suggested we relax that night with a movie while I expressed. Jack and I put on Bridesmaids, and near the end of the movie I went to the bathroom and noticed I had lost my mucus plug. A rush of worry and anxiety swept over me - was I really ready? Could I birth her the way I hoped? I rang my midwife, Ally, who told me to wait it out. She also mentioned that due to staff shortages, there was a chance I wouldn’t be able to birth at home if labour progressed that night. I felt devastated, but it was out of my control. I even spoke to Remi in my tummy, asking her to hold off just a little longer. At 4am I woke with strong back pain, coming in waves every 20 minutes. I wasn’t sure if it was labour or just her sitting low in my pelvis. Arlo woke, and chaos unfolded - Arlo running around, our dog Rodger barking, me swaying on the exercise ball trying to breathe through contractions. By mid-morning contractions were stronger and closer. Jack’s mum arrived to take Arlo to swimming, and I called Ally to say I couldn’t make it to my scheduled ultrasound. She told me firmly: “You’re in labour.” I still wasn’t convinced. How did things unfold once you moved into active labour? I slid into the bath with calm music, repeating my affirmations. Arlo came in to say goodbye, I gave him the biggest cuddle and kiss, knowing the next time I saw him he’d be a big brother. By 10am, I messaged Karlee, our birth photographer (also a doula). I told her I was struggling to get comfortable. She reassured me and suggested bringing a birth sling, which turned out to be exactly what I needed. It took me ages to walk from the bathroom to the hallway where I laboured on a medicine ball for quite some time. I remember feeling as though I didn’t have my breath under control. At 1pm, I messaged Karlee again asking when she’d like to come over, explaining that my contractions were 5 or so minutes apart and lasting about a minute. At this point, the midwives weren’t there yet. Karlee asked if my contractions were intense enough for me to still talk. I explained that they were intense, and I couldn’t talk through them. During this time, Jack decided to call our midwife. She asked if I was ready for her to come over, but I didn’t think I needed her yet, I believed I had quite some time to go. Our midwife could hear my contractions over the phone and decided herself to make her way to us. At 1:45pm, Karlee arrived. The energy shifted immediately. She moved quietly, setting up like a real-life angel without disturbing me, her calm presence anchoring the room. Soon after, my midwives arrived. Seeing them felt like such a relief - the home birth was happening. Labour intensified. I leaned over the exercise ball with the TENS machine buzzing, gripping a comb in my hand. Jack was always close, offering water, rubbing my back, steady and reassuring. By the afternoon, contractions were long and powerful. I pulled on the birth sling, roaring through transition. At one point I thought, I can’t do this anymore. I was so exhausted. Ally’s calm words carried me through: “This means you’re in transition.” I knew what transition had felt like with Arlo - much more intense. So part of me didn’t believe her. But deep down, it meant I was handling labour even better than I had last time. My midwife encouraged me to hop into the pool. I was hesitant, stuck in my position and not knowing what to expect in the water. When I was finally convinced, I slipped in. The warm water was such a relief, more than I ever could have imagined. With Jack holding my hand, I surrendered to the surges. The urge to push was unstoppable. My body took over. Remi crowned for what felt like forever (and yes, there’s photo evidence to prove it). And then — she was there. Just as the sun was going down, with the mountains and lake glowing outside our balcony, she made her entrance. She was supposed to be caught by her father in the water, but Remi had different ideas and swam straight into my arms. At exactly 41 weeks, she arrived. The room fell into that sacred hush only new life brings, and I was mesmerised, proud of what I had just achieved. Can you share what happened after Remi was born? I stayed in the pool for a while, but the water cooled and the midwives boiled pots on the stove to keep me warm. Eventually, I was moved to the couch, towels laid out, Remi on my chest and Rodger our dog snuggled in too. I delivered the placenta without any interventions or issues. It felt calm, natural, and easy compared to my first birth. Karlee reheated a meal from The Dinner Ladies, spaghetti bolognese, and it was honestly the best meal I’ve ever eaten. Warm, nourishing, and eaten right there on the couch with my baby in my arms. That night, after the midwives slowly packed up, Jack and I just sat admiring her. Later, we tucked her into bed, still in awe that she was here. What was your feeding journey with Remi like? My plan was to breastfeed, but I had struggled with Arlo and soon found myself in the same place again. Remi struggled to latch, my supply felt low, and she began to lose weight. We later discovered she had a tongue tie (about 80%) and a high palate. We tried everything, donor milk, expressing, formula top-ups. Eventually we found a rhythm with Little Oaks goat formula and some donor milk. Later, we learned she was coeliac, which explained her fussiness on the breast too. I carried disappointment about not being able to breastfeed the way I hoped, but also relief that we found a way to nourish her. If I were to have another baby, I think I’d skip straight to quality formula without the guilt. How do you feel about the experience now, and what guidance would you offer to another mum stepping into her own birth journey? What surprised me most about this pregnancy and birth was how powerful women truly are — we are so capable, and our bodies are born to do this. I’m still amazed by how much love your heart can hold. Just when you think there isn’t room for more, it grows. Remi’s birth was everything I had hoped for - calm, supported, healing, and deeply empowering. Compared to Arlo’s, it felt like I reclaimed birth on my own terms. If I could give advice to another mum preparing for birth, it would be this:Do your research, ask questions, and don’t be afraid to stand your ground. Have someone to advocate for you when you’re tired or vulnerable. Don’t let anyone rush you or tell you what your body “should” be doing. Trust yourself. And also — LOTS OF FOOD PREP. Birth is the most transformative journey you’ll ever experience. It changes you. It shows you your strength. And it is, truly, the most magical experience. Lastly, where are you at now, and what are you working on? Right now, we’re grounding ourselves for a little while to launch a nature play program on the NSW South Coast (Kooee Kids) for children aged 3 and up - a space where they can learn, play, and connect deeply with nature. After months of living nomadically (and continuing to do so indefinitely), it feels grounding and purposeful to pour our energy into something that reflects our values of freedom, curiosity, and connection - the very things that have guided us since Remi’s birth. If you’d like to follow along with Charnel’s nature play journey, you can find her over at @kooee_kids. Birth photography @birthed_with_love_by_karlee

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Unexpected Facts About Labour No One Tells You

Discover the surprising truths about labour no one tells you - shakes, emotions, placenta, and more. Real stories, raw honesty, and expert-backed facts.

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Maternity Pads vs Period Pads

When I packed my hospital bag with my first baby, I assumed my regular period pads would do the job. Within an hour of giving birth, I knew I was wrong. Postpartum bleeding, known as lochia, is heavier, longer, and very different from a period — and it calls for a product that is actually designed for it. Here is everything you need to know about why maternity pads matter, how long you will need them, and how to choose the right one for each stage of your recovery.

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Mythbusting: Ways to bring on labour

Discover the truth behind popular labour induction myths! Learn what works, what doesn’t, and how to safely prepare for your baby's arrival with patience and expert-backed tips

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Top Postpartum Self-Care Tips & Must-Have Products for New Mums

Top Postpartum Self-Care Tips & Must-Have Products for New Mums

In this blog, we'll explore the significance of stocking up on your emotional self-love cup, as well as those essential postpartum products.

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TMI Antenatal Classes!

    New Job Application Giving birth to a baby and becoming a parent is like jumping into a new job and very quickly learning how to sink or swim. If you were to apply for a new job you may wish to do some preparation work before the big day and this is how I approached going to antenatal classes. You want to have a look into the company and what the job description is (like learning more about what happens to your body during childbirth and getting some more pointers for breastfeeding etc).  You might have a look at the company staff and the building they are located in (like knowing how the maternity staff will help you, options for birthing rooms ie water births & the other facilities at the hospital you will be attending). Then ending your prospective job preparation with weighing up the pros and cons of this new position (like looking at your birth plan, knowing about pain options and what you may find difficult or easy as you become a new mum). Curriculum or KPIs Antenatal classes are kind of like your induction for the role that you are about to perform-child birth and becoming a parent. These information packed classes give you a blow by blow about what happens at every step in the later stages of pregnancy and the ins and outs (pun intended) of the labour process. For some people it’s all a bit too much and for others it’s a great way to learn about it all. Most of us sit somewhere in the middle, like myself with my ignorance in thinking that I have a few nieces, I’ve heard some stories, skimmed through a book and somehow I know the basics! Then you arrive, are handed a class schedule and you read some very foreign words like meconium, mucus plugs, stretch and sweeps and you start thinking…I’m not sure this was the job I applied for! Other Colleagues I found it nice to surround myself with other mums, to be and to watch weekly as they steadily expanded and swelled into an uncomfortable blob much like myself. I enjoyed hearing about why the changes were happening to my body and I found the whole labour explanation quite fascinating (although very graphic! ). My partner and I were able to ask and answer questions amongst a supportive group of peers and open up about what our expectations were pre and post birth. It was nice to hear that similar fears where shared throughout the group and then talk these through in bite size pieces. It was also great to learn some more practical skills like swaddling and changing a nappy. Signing the Contract I would highly recommend going to some sort of antenatal class if you are first time parents. Take the time to invest in learning more about what will happen, ask all the crazy questions that come to mind, why it happens and management plans. It’s also a chance to really touch base with your partner, build a stronger connection as a team and to be around individuals who are dealing with the same issues, in a safe environment. Having a baby and being a parent are both hands on roles and you do learn as you go but if someone was to give you a little bit of advice before you went to that job interview and it made the world or difference, wouldn’t you like to hear it?  Author: Elise Bradfield @elise_bradfield

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Labour & Pregnancy: Best Laid Labour Plans | New Beginnings

  As the final stages of pregnancy creep up on you, much like those swollen ankles, you know it’s time to start thinking about the arrival of this baby. I’ll never forget sitting in my antenatal class and having our teacher passionately describe how women have been birthing babies for thousands of years. How it’s such a natural process for the female body to contort and stretch for this very purpose. When I look back at my labour I would agree that it is a miraculous event and my body adapted very well but it didn’t go exactly to plan and holy moly was it painful! It’s all written in the word isn’t it? Labour.....meaning exertion, struggle, hard work and it is! Have a chat with your partner, OB or midwife about what is really involved during birth and have a loose birth plan – think about; - What type of birth do you want- water birth, natural, laying down, or resting on a fit ball? -What tools will aid you ie music, oils, breathing techniques, tens machine? - What type of support will you require from your partner ie pep talks, holding your hand, strong & silent, giving you a blow by blow as it happens, no touching at all? -What pain relief is available and are there any side effects for the baby? -What will happen if I need a cesarean and what does that recovery post baby look like? Here’s hoping everything runs smoothly but in the case your baby needs some extra support post birth, it’s important to know what you and your partner want to do. We decided should bub need to leave my side for any reason, my partner would follow at all times, I felt more comfortable knowing this.   This will be an experience where you won’t know what to expect but you can be informed and have asked questions beforehand to help feel comfortable. Your midwife or OB will generally ask what your birth plan looks like so they can cater to you but please remember to be flexible. I had every intention of having a natural water birth and in the end I found the bath offered no relief and that gas was not sufficient enough to relieve the pain. I found the tens machine worked really well in redirecting my brains pain receptors but I did end up having an epidural that did not relieve me completely of pain (no one had told me that epidurals don’t always work) but definitely took the edge off. I knew myself enough to know when I needed extra assistance in the form of pain relief and I was able to continue with my intended plan and give birth to a beautiful baby. Let’s face it, giving birth is a heroic feat and it will test you and your partner’s determination and strength but what an amazing sight it is to see this beautiful baby at the end of all your hard work. Remember to be informed and aware and follow your plan but be flexible about adjusting it to suit the needs of you and your bub. Enjoy it, as much as it is the hard part, be in the moment and communicate with your partner and support team. You are not in this alone, there is a tiny being ready to be glued to your side for the rest of your life. Good Luck x  Author: Elise Bradfield @elise_bradfield Image: @leahandeva!

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Top 5 Hospital Must Haves

Packing your hospital bag feels like such a milestone, doesn’t it? For me, it didn’t truly hit that I was about to become a mum until I started tossing things into a bag. My partner was not impressed by my last-minute packing (oops). Antenatal classes helped with the basics—like button-up pyjamas for feeding and socks because birthing suites are cold—but what I really wish someone had told me were the actual essentials that made those first few days easier. Here are my top 5 hospital bag must-haves for first-time or returning mummas. 1. Maternity Pads I’ll be honest: I thought big supermarket pads would do the trick after birth. Nope. Postpartum bleeding (lochia) is heavy and lasts weeks, not days, so you’ll want proper maternity pads. They’re more absorbent, longer, and softer—exactly what your recovering body needs. The New Beginnings Maternity Pads were a lifesaver for me: comfortable, the right length, and no stressing about leaks every time I stood up. Stock up—running out in hospital is not fun[1]. 2. Maternity Bra’s One thing I wish I had known earlier: bring at least two maternity bras to the hospital. You’ll need them from the moment your baby arrives, and trust me—they’ll quickly become your new best friend. A good maternity bra offers more than just support; it gives you comfort when your body is changing daily, easy access for breastfeeding, and a little modesty when you’re juggling visitors and nurses in and out of your hospital room. Having more than one also means you’re covered when one gets messy (and it will!). If you’re unsure what to buy, check out our guide on Maternity vs Nursing Bras. It breaks down the difference and helps you choose the right bra for both your hospital stay and the weeks of recovery and feeding that follow. 3. Toiletries/Makeup One thing I wish I had known earlier: bring at least two maternity bras to the hospital. You’ll need them from the moment your baby arrives, and trust me—they’ll quickly become your new best friend. A good maternity bra offers more than just support; it gives you comfort when your body is changing daily, easy access for breastfeeding, and a little modesty when you’re juggling visitors and nurses in and out of your hospital room. Having more than one also means you’re covered when one gets messy (and it will!). If you’re unsure what to buy, check out our guide on Maternity vs Nursing Bras. It breaks down the difference and helps you choose the right bra for both your hospital stay and the weeks of recovery and feeding that follow. 4. Personal Items A few extras made my stay smoother: Thongs for the hospital shower A few outfit changes Muslin wraps for bub Nappies (my hospital didn’t provide them!) A water bottle I could refill easily Dummies (if you choose to use them) It’s not about overpacking—it’s about having the things that help you feel prepared and calm. 5. Snacks Breastfeeding takes a lot out of you, and your body needs fuel. Hospital food can be hit or miss, so I packed muesli bars, crackers, nuts, and fruit. My partner also did the traditional “first meal run”—mine was sushi, and I savoured every bite! Hydration is just as important. Keeping a big water bottle by my bed reminded me to sip constantly (your body will thank you, and so will your milk supply). Hospital bag lists often cover the basics, but these little extras—maternity pads, comfy bras, your own toiletries, a few personal must-haves, and snacks—make a huge difference in how supported and comfortable you feel. If you’re starting to pack, check out our Postpartum Products Collection for recovery essentials that make those first few weeks easier. You’ve got this, mumma.

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